That box is probably not soft.

And the clock strucketh 2.

I depart unto myeth bedeth.

And to that blessed state of slumber, may it be-eth.

Amen.



mayeth this alsoeth be-eth unto-eth mea.

Beep-beep. Yes, I am that carrot. Beep-beep. That is the noise I make.

I'm on cruise control.

-Plugging your ears while delivering a baby is the same as plugging your ears while delivering a pizza, you have to use your elbows. And you can't hear anything. And you can't accept any tips-

Old Sweaters and Cold Feet

No, right now I am not reforming marriage. I am not even standing on the promises. I am unmotivated and cannot concentrate-- a new diagnosis of ADD. My mind is spinning like a rodent wheel but there is no hamster spinning it. Defect, waiting for the recall. But no, minds never get recalled. They either run out of batteries or get electricuted. Either way, mine is not working. Kind of like an old sweater. The kind you wear because sweaters are good to wear and you'd look odd not wearing one but it otherwise is quite useless. I wore one of those today... it was cold but it is a nice sweater. That is what my brain is. I have one, not because it works, but because I would look silly not carrying one around with me.

Socks, on the other hand, are fabulous. Not in a gay way. Tall socks pretty much rock the casbah. I am wearing some right now. Why? My feet are cold. They are covered with cloth now. The modern version of the fig leaf: to cover my shame.

Reforming Marriage has a picture of a couple asleep at a dinner table. I wish I were them. Or at least one of them, I dont think i'd like to be both. Sleep. Food. Both? Heaven. My crummy guitar is on the end of the couch-- heaven knows how much I wish I would make time to play that thing. I have found my pride issue-- it is so hard to lower myself to that thing. I want so bad to have my angel back. An angel among mortals. To hear its sound again, to behold its lovely form, to feel the smooth strings... oh, heaven. This indeed is true love. The kind that needs no Reformation, the kind that no sleep could keep you from.

I feel like the Muse has left me. This goes for Blog as well as Email as well as Papers. I sat down to write two abstracts last night, and what did I come up with? A story about a man who left his childhood in the parking lot, came back when he was a man and found it had turned into a turtle that couldnt jump (for turtles are not rabbits, he concluded). LAAAAME. I meant it gave me some entertainment, even tho I broke my aim to be sane this year. Yes, no more of those stories for as long as I can help it. Why? I dont know, mostly because no one really understands them. Maybe I will be a closet insane writer. Maybe. I wont tell.

Right now I am supposed to devote my brain to Latin. Am I? No, the latin Muse has never visited me ever, and she is remaining consistent. So I decided to read Lordship. Am I? No, I am not. What am I doing? Listening to the Idol (billy idol, you puritans, not a literal idol) and writing a blog post that has nice happy clouds on it. If one is to have clouds they may as well be happy.

I have once more been drinking tea and eating ramen. Life is back to where I left it, and this time it has not turned into a ground-ridden turtle (thank goodness). Pomegranate Tea... so good. With a mite of sugar in it. I only have a bag left. But have no fear, I am well stocked with both Black and Peppermint.

I cant wait for free time. I will knit, quilt, and READ and STUDY the things I feel like reading and studying, without any looming grade raincloud (an unfriendly cloud). Thats the most attractive thing about summer.

I have this siloette picture of the Abbey Road picture, and I think its not done well because Lennon looks like Ben Franklin.

Does anyone read these anymore because I feel that my quality has slackened cuz I dont think anyone really reads this. So tell me and maybe I'll shape up. Maybe.

If I were a weather man, I'd say:
The ice and snow is slowly melting. Quite a bit of it is melting (due to the sunshine and friendly clouds), but there is still a bunch of slippery ness I come across on my journey to school. And it is a bit warmer, although I still get very chilled with the wind and all.
But as I'm not, I wont.

Know what just came to mind? Lion Shooter Bill. haaaaaahahahahaha! The end of that memory.

When I have free time I"ll shape this blog up and make it a bit more fun. Like Kaleb/Rob's maybe. I'll spend more time. As it is now, I just blah around and count it good.

I hope your clouds are friendly.

Feet Below the Knees

Blogging is so yesterday. Well.. blogging when you have nothing to say. But, to people in China, I am in yesterday right now, so its all ok. After all yesterday, just like tomorrow, is only a day away.

I do not think I could survive a bear attack.
But I do have some plans for a Zombie attack. I hope that there are no zombie bears.

I just realized... literally just right now, that I am glad I dont have a peg leg. That would get so annoying. Well one thing about Come Together is 'he' is not a pirate.
Ok that was ridiculous because less than half of you know what I'm talking about. So nevermind, dont try.

If someone asked me, "Do your feet hurt?" Then I'd answer "Yes." If they asked me, "Does your back hurt?" Then I'd say, "Yes." If someone said, "Are you hungry?" Then I'd say, "No." If someone asked me if I had a reason for my neck to be soar, then I'd say, "not really but I have a speculation." If someone asked me if my teeth were clean, I'd say, "Yes. Quite." If someone asked me "Are you cold?" Then I'd say, "Yes." If someone asked me if I felt ready for school, I'd say "No." If someone asked me if I just put a sweater on I'd say, "Yes."

It's only 10.32 but I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink. I wonder should I get up, and fix myself a drink? No, no, no...

Life, Resumed.

I am tired of Ramen, after a steady diet of it for 5 months. So I decided I'd try Macaroni. Kraft Macaroni doesn't do it for me anymore. I cant eat much of it. less than a half a box. While Katy, on the other hand, can prolly eat 2 boxes and a pizza and still maintain her 80lb existance. It had to be her that inherited mom's jeans...

So as I sit frusterated that I dont know how to work our TV, I decide that the medium makes the matter of the thing itself more or less pleasant. Eating food straight out of the pan that you cooked it in, for example, makes it a whole lot less appitizing. Same as it is with TV's. Sometimes I just dont want to watch something on my laptop, so if the TV dont work, then thats the end of that. God's will. Today is just one of those days.

And so I put away my macaroni and eat a candy cane. Calms me. I already had Hot Chocolate, which failed to warm me up but succeeded in being my first cup of hot chocolate for a very very very long time.

All this to say, I am going home tomorrow.
Hallelujah cried the angels and all the people rejoiced.

-- Nobel Peace Prize Awarded to a Killer Whale --
or, How My Life was Nearly Ruined by an Un-Jewish Hippy.

In which I went to Stacey's for dinner and stuffed myself to an ungodly amount of stuffage, causing a party in my mouth but a funeral in my stomach. The party got overcrowded and I was like "blahhhh" the rest of the time. And then I ate a cookie or two. My motto was "eat, drink, for tomorrow we die."

In which Andy burned my gloves... (that was actually kind of funny. the fingers were smoking and everything. he felt bad. poor guy.)... but then he bought me 2 pairs for Christmas! Snow and Knit. The snow ones are warmer than the ones he burnt actually... so now I decided he can burn anything he wants. Just dont burn me. Because it doesn't work that way. heh.

In which I can't wait to come home now and I am really really tired of school.

In which I have heard Stephan Curtis Chapman, Amy Grant and Keith Green all in the same day and am like "gee I feel like an eight year old again." It was crazy.

In which I went ice skating, and was bad and waddled like a penguin.

In which I like people and am happy.

In which I have to leave in four minutes so nevermind.
bye.

This is me studying.
This is me with a final tomorrow.
This is me across from Lauryl.
This is me freaking out.
This is me unprepared.
This is me feeling burnt like a peice of toast.
This is me being ready for finals to be over.

This is a home where I sleep.
This is a school that stretches my mind like chewed bubble gum.
These are roomates that crack me up laughing.

This is a winter that hasn't snowed.
This is studying time.
This me studying.
This is me saying 'no' to socialness for a week.

This is a party without the people.

---

Mr. Appel said that studying is like a wedding cake.
But its one that we work at, we pay for, look at, but can't eat.
At least not til the anniversary. Hopefully there's lots of preservatives.
---

It's nice to procrastinate, justifying it by saying "i'm telling people i'm studying". Because I will. Once i stop telling you that I will. It's how I roll. This is the way I live. Like a rap song, only a bit more biblical.
---

I am coming home after finals. I am trying my very hardest not to count down. I have to shut my eyes to the light at the end of the tunnel, because if I dare open them I know I will start sprinting to it, when I need to walk and write stuff on the walls. Graffiti. How scholarly.
---

I think my mind has gotten much too abstract. Finding applications and ties into things that really dont make sense to other people. But they are so clear to me. My lot in life, to not be understood. Like Emo kids always say.
---


I leave you as I found you, only some time later.

So happy. So very happy.

Look Ma! No hands!
3, 2, 1, I'm going in. Like a Kamikaze. Leap of faith. Only a bit more biblical.
Continued.

It's 8.18. what a nice time to live in. And I just had a bowl of Frosted Flakes. What a nice thing to eat. Today is my sister's birthday. What a nice day to be born on. I am drinking tea. What a nice thing to drink.

Guy Fawkes. Remember the 5th of November. V for Vendetta. Is that what you think of what they want you to think? Socialism come upon America, keep your wits about you and your George Orwell prophesies handy. Like DC Talk sang, sometimes we gotta learn the hard way. World without an end.

Scatterbrained thoughts, maybe because I really should be writing and reading. When you do what is cool but at an uncool time, the thing suddenly turns to be an uncool thing. Funny how time changes things.
Things.
And People.
Like Seasons.
You can do it all by yo' self... slow motion. Like leaves falling from a tree.
Like a kid swinging on a swing set.
We have our independance, but it is only gained eventually by experience. Sometimes you have to let go to truly be safe.
Look ma, no hands.

Make sense of what you can, i cant help you right now. Office hours wont come til the weekend.
Peace.

Rainy Day Mushroom Pillow

My nails are long. The normal click of the keyboard is exagerated by the extra clack of my nails. And since it's at night these noises get extra annoying to the accompany-ing dwellers. Solution: i have no co-dwellers this week, because I am on Break. Cause: because it's break, my normal nail-clipper supplier friend is not around and hence my nails remain click-clacking on this keyboard. But none of this matters since no one but me is annoyed at it. I could resort to biting them off, but why start a habit most end by my age? That would be completely backwards... like an inside out clam... it just wouldn't work. Plus, where would the pearl go?

The days have gotten cold, but my heart hasn't. In fact, I watched a chick flick the other day. Yes, that diserves applause in the acting out your female characteristics side of the room. My click-clacking fingers are cold, but the rest of me isn't since I am wearing socks and am sitting in bed. Old Man Winter might be coming but I dont have to let him in. I did take off my hat because it was a Russian hat, and it itched because its fake. FAKE. I own something FAKE. aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh sacriledge. Fun word that. Sacriledge. Since coming here, I have began to notice the words I like and dislike. I feel like such a nerd. But I'm sure there are some un-nerds that like/dislike some words? Maybe we all are a sort of nerd, but just dont show it by pushing up our glasses on our noses saying, "Well, actually..."

Today I was like a maid. Self-employed, Self-motivated... and un-paid. But it was such a good feeling. I felt like a mother. My mom always told us (when we'd complain we are teh only ones who dont get allowance) that "the feeling of getting it done was our payment". How terribly cliche. But today I was like "omg. its true." NOT saying that payment isnt needed/wanted, but the feeling all the same was great. Clean sink, clean kitchen, clean living room, clean bathroom, clean clean clean. And get this: NO SPITSHINE! I did not resemble that Tasmanian Devil in Space Jam in method or madness. But it wasnt Mary Poppins either (altho i shared her good mood eventually), because snapping my fingers didnt work. I tried. Because I was in a good mood. Dont know why I set myself up for a fall in such an obvious way. LET DOWN. Kind of like a smack down, tho this way you dont have an enemy, and its a bit more peaceful like.

Its past midnight. Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday. Welcome to Wednesday. This is now the third official day of break, and I know that now that it's Wednesday break'll go even faster. Weeks always go faster after Wednesday. Its getting to Wednesday thats the hard part. During school weeks, its a good thing. During breaks... not so good. Thanksgiving isn't too far away, and that's a week break. Something to look forward to. Except for the Pumpkin Pie. I never did get over that episode. Or White Mocha. Cant take it.

Each time I sit down to tell people about my life I never get anywhere because there's so much to say. How can you pick a few experiences and let the rest fall? The way I deal with it is to not tell anything. If you can win the game dont play.
As a contradiction to that advice, I started playing Halo. If you need more explanation, I'm awful. yet I play. I take some persuasion, but i play.

Here is a message I'm sending out, like a telegraph to your soul, only more hi-tech. If Ginko Baloba wasnt such a strange word it'd be taken seriously more. I've used that word with seriousness only to be laughed at. Thats why Mothers should never name their children names that are... that way. Think of the kid when its growing up, when its older. Do you really want a boy named Sue? Painfully uncool, even if it does make you tough. Unless you like your children changing their names.

Today I decided that I do indeed miss home. Home means relax to me, and now that its such a short-term dwelling place I have learned to appriciate it a bit more. Two of my best friends went to their homes this week, and it made me contemplate. But in a way, I'm glad I'm not home. Being away from it makes me enjoy it more. Absense makes the heart grow fonder. I've always liked that saying, and I've been applying it to many things this week.

Ohhhhhhhhh my. My iTunes shuffle just changed to Puff the Magic Dragon. Oh man oh man oh man. Here I go again. Getting all emotional. This song is so sad to me. There are a few songs that just get me everytime I listen to them. "Cats in the Cradel", "The Way I've Always Heard it Should Be", "Those Were the Days" and "Puff the Magic Dragon". All old songs, but they just get me. Yes, proves I still have a heart. The weather has not soaked in yet. That's what my mom always said whenever I'd show sappy emotions: "it's good to see you have a heart". So glad to see you well.

I saw a colouring picture today. I remember I coloured one when I was tiny, with three bears on it. I coloured it very nicely, folded it up nicely and asked my mom to send it to God. I believe she told me to throw it out the window, and so I did. I hope no one picked it up, because that is exceedingly self-righteous of them. It said "TO: God, FROM: Ashley". That's exactly how I wrote things back then, I remember it. the "TO:" and the "FROM:"
Since being here at college I've had alot of childhood memories. I find it funny how I was a bully to some people, really nice to others, and very protective of Katy. I remember riding in the small bus with her so she wouldnt be alone. haha! I punched a kid in the stomach as hard as I could when some guy made fun of disabled kids and threatened to knock his teeth out if he told on me. THats just one of many stories I could tell. I would hurt people, and then stay in from recess to help the behind ones. Oh man I am having agood time nostalgic-ing. I find my childhood quite interesting.... but I wont keep you.

It's getting late. Time to close your eyes, Cowboy. Shut the eyes, they need to set with the sun.

Another day, another carrot.
or, my life without a common diet of vegetables.

As much as I love carrots, I have analyzed my life and found that I haven't eaten a steady diet of carrots for a while, and yet my eye sight has not suffered. Not saying it never will, thats just how I roll. I hope I dont start to literally roll, who knows how my sense of gravity is. Furthermore, rolls means fat and I like my diminishing figure. Even my mom noticed. Yay for moms. Always noticing stuff.

Almost got ran over by a car today, run like hell! It was an old lady, she yelled at me. At least she still has lungs that work and a car horn that hasn't failed. Makes me feel so much more safer. Her eye sight hasnt been squandered, means she hasn't looked at the sun too much. Always makes me feel better. More people should be like her. But I didnt like being talked to like that, it is beneath me and probably her because she was after all, old and white. Like Old Man Winter, only not a man.

I have been annoyed all day as a matter of fact. The bushes have leaves but I do not. Wondered what I'd be like as an old lady. Good to start being one today, only without the wrinkles. I will have lungs like that lady who ran me over, only I wont use them like her. Better uses for it. Just cuz you can dont mean you should.
Mushrooms never did anyone any good by being baked. They are only good when they bake you. Rainy day mushroom pillow.

Behind me is a path but the river runs through it in one direction pushing me along, cant stop, just keep going, sometimes the tide knocks me down (good thing I can swim). Hope there's no sneak tides. Gotta breath. The only way to live.
Found a story I wrote last year. Me and Maggie.

TITLE:
The beginning and the ending.

And then he went to the store. He thought that since his life’s ambition was to defy convention, he thought that he should do what no real man would do: go home décor shopping.

He entered the long aisle full of fluffy pillows, rather dismayed at the sight pink sequined squares and purple striped circles. He mustered all his courage and went forth determined to find the appropriate pillow for his green shag couch left over from his happy days.

Ah yes, happy days. Where have they gone? Happy days have gone but the happy hours still come around. Well they would arrive at 8 o’ clock this afternoon, that is when he had his spirits and read comic strips while listening to the BBC. “This does not fit the theme” he sighed to his good dog Nigel.

Ah Nigel. A good dog that. “I know a poem about you!” he exclaimed. “Arf, Arf, he goes, a merry sight, Our little hairy friend, Arf, Arf, upon the lampost bright Arfing round the bend. Nice dog! Goo boy, Waggie tail and beg, Clever Nigel, jump for joy Because we’re putting you to sleep at three of the clock, Nigel.”

There you go, a nice little poem for you doggie boy. Have a good day, and he went to sleep. But he was not put to sleep, Nigel was. No one asked how that dog was. Dogs dont have feelings. But maybe feelings dont have dogs. Never thought of that now did you? That's what I'm here for, you all know me.

Nigel conquered the mysterious substances the veterinarians attempted to inject into his body. He felt it. He felt it coming. He felt it and he overcame. He resembled Caesar in this instance, always had been a noble creature. He came, he saw, and he conquered. He refused to give his life over the happy camping grounds of the Indians. He would not give up his short life filled with meaningless treats and long pointless walks. Pointless? Meaningless? Life held nothing for him, but he held something for life. What that was, well, he'd find out on life's journey. He won the battle. Then he woke up, his mouth full of blankets and his brow sweaty. Life was his oyster, but he was a vegetarian. He sighed… “life is not always what it seems.”
End.

Ah yes. I just told you a year old Story. Which shows weakness on my part, I have resorted to quoting myself. One of these days I should just quite altogether. That would be original. That's the way I've always heard it should be. Insane in the membrane, insane in the brain. In an insane world, only the insane are sane. Who you tryin to get crazy with ese, dont you know i'm loco? Ayyyye. Maintain.

My posts are becoming more meaningless everytime, just like Nigel's life. Another day, another post, another carrot. Add another day, add another vegetable. How humdrum.

Now, about that math. It's tomorrow.

Chapter 2, in which the end is reconciled with the beginning and there is no epilogue.

And I know about epilogues, I read Aristotle. He knows about them too. Him and I should be friends. Too bad he's dead. Dang, death stands in the way of so many friendships.
Mmm Lauryl just gave me a bowl of blackberries. Oh I love black berries. Black seems to be the theme colour for this post so far. Epilogue, Death, Berries. And it's not even October yet.
I've been setting my alarm for 8am, but getting up at 7.56 consistantly. What's up with that? All I need now is a phone call-- "Good Morning Starshine, the earth says hello!" and that would complete everything. Good to start the morning off like an amphibion-- frog voice. Ribbit.
Children have a habit of making fools of the most mature of all people. They go from composed and sensible to "ooo what a cutie weeto thing in the whole world" and proceed to make faces, expressions, voices and such they would not have done otherwise. Children-- good for humility.
I looked in the mirror and didnt like my hair, but at least I smelled nice so I thought, "Come on and breathe me in, eyes closed." And as we all know, living is easy with eyes closed, because it is as if we live in a dream. Dreams are not reality, and yet so many live in them. Wake up. Good morning Starshine, the earth says hello.
And so do I.
Do you ever live a day and just know you are going to look back and say "those were the days". ANd you thought they'd never end. Have you ever been apart of something you thought would never end, and then of course it did? Everything has an end, everything has an epilogue. And we can't claim ignorance, the end is going to happen. What happens before you go crashing is up to you. Those were the days, we thought they'd never end, we'd live the life we chose. We'd fight and never loose, those were the days. I have been so freaking deep all day today. I feel so... back to normal...
Like today Jon was wearing a very cool tie, but the other end of the tie was... short. I said, "Jon that is so small!" And he said, "But it's so happy." And I said, "Small things are normally happy." So Staab says, "So pebbles are happy?" And I said, "Compared to a boulder." Mice are happier than rats. Julie agreed. Rebecca is small, she is always happy. Julie is small, she is happy. Then Julie says, "Small things make me happy, so I assume they are happy." That was a key point. So I said, "The Things that make you happy... are they happy?" That is where the conversation ended. Yes, back to normal life, unanswered questions because people dont catch my line of thinking. All too common. Like velcro. And dust. And wannabe's. Haha-- then staab said, "Ashley does that mean you are gloomy?" I never thought that I was like the boulder. If Rebecca is a pebble, I am a boulder. How did I get myself into that one. I really put myself into that one. A day in the life.
I think this is the most sane post I've done for a lifetime. Funny how that assumes I have two lifetimes. Cat's have 9, Butterflies have 2 and so do I. Strange how I can be similar to a boulder and a butterfly. At least they have the first letter in common. It's easier if you try.
I wish Dragon's would cry more. I want more jelly beans. Bubble gum flavoured anything is discusting. And grape is a close second. But the decision was mine. Yours wasn't.
Today I ate a cinnoman roll and ate it with a disgard for health and safety; ate it with my hands. I feel so rugged.
And tired.
Someone fell asleep in the common's room today, woke up and went outside. First thought in my head: "You don't sleep enough." Second, "I wonder what they thought about when they first woke up." It was his nighttime of the day. But I live in the daytime of the night. Sleep is so attractive.
I was walking along the sidewalk, and I said "Hi" to the first person. They didnt respond. I almost got ran over by a bicycle. The man walking next to me almost did. Something in common already. Opportunity for conversation, he obviously thought. "Hi." so i said, "yes Hi. Nice to meet you." But, we had met before. Well, it was nice to meet you that one time i met you. Before you ran me over. Ohhh is that it? What a hilarious misunderstanding. Parting words "Take care, the rest of your walk." Mine: "Watch out for bikes." I was in a hurry, I wanted a sandwhich. To eat on a field. That's the only way to eat a sandwhich. I still walk alot but I dont eat as much sandwhiches as back then. In fact bread is quite removed from my diet.

This is where my brain could write forever and a day. Maybe another lifetime. I might catch up to the cat by then. No wonder teh Egyptians worshiped them.
.Peace.

In which I do not climb a tree and thus remain physically unscathed
or,
the puma looses his sense.

This is the day in which I remain baffled (good word that) at the comments my room-mates make. "Today smells like fall." and "i have yet to find a guy that looks as good as an avacado tastes". With brilliance such as this, no wonder I am like I am. The dishes are filled up with sink, and vise versa. My brain crowds out the scads of civilization and moves on to find new territory strangely like the Pilgrims but without the fancy hats. Just like the white winged dove. Ooo baby. Kareoke party tomorrow, too bad I don't know Japanese, good thing Claire does. Weekends always seem braver when they are confronted with a weekday. Can't say that I came up with Savage the Embargo but I can say I know the man who did.
I sat down to give a real update I swear, and I only parially got there. See lots has happened. For example, I just washed my hands. I enjoy clean hands and short nails.
I'm still alive but thats not always a given. I already have some speakers in line for my funeral, in case school ends up killing me. None of them are male models. Yet.

My dreams have been hyperactive. You know another cool word? Vertigo. Say it and you raise another notch in my book, if I believe you are cool enough. And believe me, I have a book. And I have dreams. I dont take walks on the wild side, I live on it. I lost my phone today, but found it a minute later. You all know me. How many times have I warned you all about my telephone? Well, it happened again! Once more I couldn’t get through, and yet again I nearly didn’t get my famous poem with a picture of me inset through those operators! YOU know how I hate those blasted operators. You all know me. Operators and dentists have a special room in purgatory. THIRTY TWO times I tried to get through with my famous poem and thirty two times I was told to ‘Get off the line you are boring" When I told a friend or two, they couldn’t not believe it, after all hadn’t I been writing the same thing for two years? Abomnible. (another cool word) You all know me. Nickels and dimes, yours and mine.

Now to keep my mind on track. Kind of like running. I haven't gone running but I know people who do. But I've been drinking liquid, the best kind of drinking to do. School's good, I'm getting by with a little help from my friends, and life is like the little engine that could.

Elephants just popped in my head. With big eyes. Nope, it's Horton. Horton snapped in my mind. you know that one Dr. Seuss book. He's in my head. Eating a buiscutt. With jam. in a palm tree. Man i could totally write my own dreams. I am in such a weird mood right now. Maybe I shouldnt even post this. nope i will.

We grow weed in our window. Basil weed. Works just as well. Our living room is clean and we're working on the kitchen. The dishes are diminishing and so is my water in the cup next to my compy. Interesting tea, Lauryl says. Minnesota? I thought you lived in Conneticut. Well let me tell you. I had tea this morning, made me happy; i love tea. If tea could talk what would it say? I like hardback books. I have two quizzes tomorrow, welcome to reality! We ran out of freezer bags, and I am out of applesauce. But the beat goes on.
History repeats itself but i will not.
I saw a Papillon puppy today and could feel myself turning sappy... it was disturbing. I liked that puppy. And I fell for a black cat the other day. That's two strikes against me. I never thought. pretty handsome awkward. I called my mom right away to tell her, she was happy. The moment I said "i turned soft" she knew it was about an animal. Dont count on it buddy boy. I am into fishes. They soon will be into me. I love seafood, but not spinach. And thats waht seperates me from Popeye. That and I dont have a 'squeaky eye', yet anyway.

My nephew is 1 now and is so adorable. He's a heart throb already.
I am not 1 and it scares me. You all know me.
I have been wanting to climb a tree. And sit on a roof, and watch a sunset in a wheat field. I want to eat a pop tart. And have a never ending supply of cinnoman rolls. I could live on those. Live fat and happy. My mind can wander and so can my head. I am feeling really weird right now... my head is like going back and forth. Maybe I'm just tired, but this is weird. Gaaahhhh i cant explain.

i'm going to lay down right now. i'll catch you later.
figuratively.

Life without Clean Clothes
or the potential thereof.

And the saga of my life continues. I live like a Scotsman logrolling, gotta keep my head balanced with my feet. I also feel like a snorkler-- dont forget to take a breath. So far, so good. With those comparisons you would think my life is pretty exotic. Oh yes, here in Moscow Idaho we snorkle and log roll. We might as well anyway. I am four weeks into it all, whihc means mid-terms I believe. Can I get a 'what what' WORRRRD up yo. Four weeks into school, Five weeks into living here once more. Five weeks without a clothes washer, five weeks without clean clothes. Well that's not completely true, I have paid for one load of laundry and heavens, I am running out of clohtes and quarters.
Quarters never had as much value in my life until these few weeks.
I want to see a sunset on a wheat field. I did have my first experience with a wheat field my first week back... that was amazing. But I got beat up. It sliced me up, legs, arms and all. Brutal. But oh so worth it. I was thrilled. It's the little things in my life.
Such as spiders, which I haven't had much experience here yet. Little things like beetles, which I did see one in the laundromat. Little things like pencils, which I keep losing. Little things like bobby pins and hair ties, which I leave everywhere. Little things.
My hair has grown and I might cut it again. The same ol'.
I love orange juice. Rock on citrus man.
You never know how much you can do til you are pushed.
My roomates are great, btw. Lauryl just threw a box into the corner, as she complains and laments of her "unfaithfulness" to her chard. She made leek-chips cuz she is cool like that. Claire is sitting in her bed reading and watching a movie with a friend, because she is Canadian like that. "aboot".
I leave you as I found you, only some time later. Love peace and chicken grease.
Peace.

I didn’t scream, the clock rang. The batteries went out, so the clock stopped working, so I used the sun. Look to the left to find the bush had moved, who knew it had legs? Sun hurt the eyes, Dont you wish you had second pair of eyelids? Pity those lizards never had speech. Don't hurt the daisies! Such friendly things are so easily squished.
Like squirrels.
Saw a dead one on the sidewalk, flat and brown like a squished gorilla, only much smaller and slightly cuter if it was alive.

I watched you and thought the smile on your face was a bit crooked and your sense of humour a little wack. I see in your eyes there is more to what you say, something about the mystery interests me. You didn't trip at least you wont have an internal injury. The joke wasn't funny but you laughed anyway, made a fool of yourself you aren't a clown dont ever change.

The stripes made my mind run a little too fast, slow down there is a speed limit, what would we do without the police? Warm orange juice sits on the counter, waiting for the season to change. Seasons change but people don't, at least that's what they tell themselves. She laughed as she walked with her purple giraffe, snorted alittle loud, made me smile.

Went to the store, found a cucumber, sale means deal. LB's to dollars euro to rupies, cant we make up our minds? Quick look no don’t hide skip dont cut blink dont stare. Plastic face makes you think of Barbie, why the masks? Ever wonder who you really are? I wish I could talk to you, really talk; what are you about? Regrets of humanity's life all in one book, wonder how many more there are, anyone I know? What is hidden?
Treasure hunt, be a pirate, nick the empire! Live underground, dont get buried. Vertical, horizontal, up down nursery rhyme!

We watched the man and wondered what he did with his life, any advice for newcomers? Life has no instruction book, you learn by watching. He lay on the grass and shut his eyes I wonder if he'll ever wake up. A life you dont live is still lost. Watch humanity walk by, everybody put their socks up and everybody put their foot down. Their heads were up but the eyes looked down.

What is the point of toes? If fingers were shorter and toes were longer would we switch the words or redefine them? This is the correlation. Laugh a minute! Don't stop. You're so brilliant, dont forget. More of a inspiration. Shall I deliver civic discourse or let you live in peace? The phone in the corner is plugged in but doesnt work, things aren't always what they seem. Why does your voice sound different on the phone, why does your laugh sounds funny when you are upside down? The delay on cell phones is hilarious when you talk to yourself. Glad you get crazy, makes me feel like company.

Stand on the sand dune, it's like a pyramid, what did Egyptians think of me? I am not Japanese, wonder what it's like in Alaska. Travel the world, dont stay in your cage, break out break out! Free your mind, bask in your freedom, seize the moment now is the time! Once the skeptic now the critic, why do you think you are better than everyone? Conceit is more repulsing than ignorance. Lower your head and dawn the humility, you are not as big as you think you are. Freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away. Tell me your dreams. Analize.

The bluebelles in the garden made me contemplate life and tranquility, gave the mind a break from the energy it has released. Positive or Negative? How strong were those vibes and how long was your trip? Are you still sane? DOnt wreck yourself, you are bigger than that. Dont get sad, get glad! Turn that frown upside down. Cheer up Charlie.

I saw you watching, I tried not to stare. Occupied my mind to other things, hoped you didnt think I was ignoring you, didnt get embarressed just curious. Ever wish you could read thoughts? probably best we can't. It's the silence that screams. Glad I lived, glad you did too. Life suddenly had a sunrise! Eternal sunshine, maybe not so spotless of a mind, but cleanliness is overrated.
Dalmations aren't very cute, firetrucks scream loud, hurts the ears.
Ear? Dear. Mirrrr.... or.

Glass to Arson. There is no mathmatics to love and loss, but we dreamt in heist. And here goes time and confusion... shut your mouth, no one has to know. Here the hope, tomorrow! We can see the world, I'd go. Look up, tomorrow comes, another feel good drag, hold on to what you got, but have an open hand.

Alittle too much information. Public display? I hope not. In the end the results are rigged. Slot machines are not. I’m at the casino pretending that I’m a ballerina with lots of money painted with mysterious kalidescope colours created in lavalamp scrapbooks in China, like the yellow sea poisoned with shark breath, stupid poachers making you look like a wimp against the elephant tusks. What ivory? Only if its psycodelic. Believe in dancing? Arms like monkeys, hair like twizzlers, eyes gone googley, waving like windmills, freaking me out like the crow in the sky.

So disarming how Russians don’t use English letters. Shoot sunshine, bloody hell master, touch down turn around DOWN WITH THE MAN! up with the system!
God save the queen.

"Why do they call him the boss?"
"Because he's afraid to fly."
I dont know why she swalled the fly
perhaps she'll die.

Speaking of dieing, and bugs, I have killed quite the number of bugs this summer season. I did it with confidence and poise, no sweat. There was one huge ugly mother of a furry moth... one that was like the sasquatch of all moths... that was going to eat Katy in her sleep. So I went to save her... and well... it was quite the process. I freaked out. It was so huge and furry and gross. Yah I cringed, jumped around, made faces.. the whole shabang.
But in the end, it died.
And there were no flies on Frank.
Oh I have a story about that, but nah, you dont wanna hear it... it's alittle.. wack.
On to the stuff you wanna hear about.

My time here is dwindling. It's amazing how it flies by. It seemed like i had forever here, and then "POOF!" like a fairy Godmother, it disappears right before my eyes, longing for more. Thats the way to do things I guess, so you never get bored from it, always leaving them wanting more. ANd I am wanting more. Overall it was unsatisfying. It had its fun moments, but overall it wasnt what I expected. I did get to hang out for a short while with some, but it was just weird. Thats just honesty. But I got to go camping with Jake & Emily & Guy, Rachel & Brian & Anna, Keith, Jordy, Nate, Ian & Heather and that was ton fun... I was lovin it like a McDondles commercial.
And you'd think that since i've seen so much McDondles I would know how to spell the word. Is it that obvious that I havent been there in so long? Go Taco Bell.
I also played upfront for worship service 3 times total (well it will be three), that was good to get back into things like that.
I also went to the beach with some friends, I think I got something that could pass as a tan. That was fun as well.
I also spent 10hrs a day babysitting for friends of mine. They are takingme and Katy to the Chinese Gardens in downtown Portland and also to a resteraunt tomorrow. I am looking forward to that, they are a good family.
I had my wisdom teeth pulled. Oh the excitement. Bed ridden, bloody mouthed, and all that. My mouth feels so empty. And so did my stomach.
So you see, it had its points. For a good while I was wishing I was in Idaho. I really really missed my friends, and adjusting to this kind of lifestyle was difficult. It went from doing everything all the time, to doing... things not very often. It was difficult. I have adjusted I think though, and am sorry to see my time here end. But at the same time I am looking forward to being up there again, and starting a new year of school. 3 of my very close friends will not be there though, so that was hard to swallow. Jancy, LingLing and Stacey are all far away. I am glad they are doing what they wanna do though, but I will miss them so much. I will be able to hang out with stacey before she leaves, and I am eternally grateful. heh.
I do feel a little in-between though. It's hard loving both states so much. I dont wanna be away form Oregon, and yet I dont wanna be away from Idaho. There are people in both places that I just couldnt do without. You see my predicament. It is hard to leave.
For Both places.
All people.
Leave. Gone. What horrible, candle-snuffing words.
Never fear my Oregon friends, I will be back, like Arnold.
And to my Idahoians, never fear, I am here!
I will be living in an apartment with 3 other girls. I haven't met them yet, but they seem really nice and fun. 2 of them are Freshmen, the other is... a Junior I believe. It has been fun.. and yet.. vague (yikes) planning the apartment, but I am looking forward to living out on my own... in a way.
For those ofyou extra eager to know my school schedule, my Christmas break (when I'll be in Oregon again) is Dec. 22- Jan 16.
Maybe I'll post some pictures soonish... maybe. I've been pretty busy.
Oh, and I worked more on my quilt that I started last year. I hoped to have it done for when I went to Idaho (extra warmth)... but alas. Not. Shoot, sunshine! Things just got alittle more busy and well, wrinkled and jumbled and well it didnt happen. Maybe another year.
Maybe by the time I'm married.
Woo! But alas, I leave for Idaho August 8th.
"2,000 miles I roam, just to make this dock my home."
Hellogoodbye (see background). Happy Crimble.

The vibe is intense. Be part of thrill seeking as a fashion. Risk is a friend, be part of the restless search for the thrill....
A watched potatoe never grows.
but children do.
And this child has.
Way to much.
And so, this child decided to go running. Went with Emily yesterday, not very long mind you, i'm way out of shape so Em/I took it short. So I went tonight as well, short again, but hey, its better than nothing. And I want to do it every day, and build up. Sound good?
So does blowing bubbles in your soda.
But i never got that. Blowing your breath into your soda.
Ew.
Gross.
Just like Spiders.
Speaking of spiders. I rescued Emily from one again today. Proved my toughness. My Manliness. My Braveity.
Only not.
I have a slight tan. Slight, but its there. I see a tan line. Thank God for Tank Tops, I've worn one almost every day practically, so its about time. I am happy. Even with all that sunburning and peeling, I still have one. Even Emily says so! Woooooo
Woo is a funny word. I use it for cheering like "yay" but I mean It's also used as "woo" as in "court" as in "date"... and its funny. Cheering while saying "court"... anyway. Strange.
People are strange when youre a stranger.
Sorry my posts ahve been slacking. ANd the quality has gone waaaaaaaaaaay down. Its embaressing. Picture me blushing. Cuz in mind that's what i'm doing.
SMACK DAT!
peace out
a.h.
oh and by the way i think something happened to my brain
its not nearly as funny. it's annoying me. something happened. Maybe its that mushroom juice my mom makes...