When the past becomes the present. And then you start living yesterday's future.

So yesterday I had 2.5 hours of sleep, thank you Latin. But then, like every Thursday, after experiencing hell, came home to my equivalent of heaven: nap time. Yes, nap time. Five hours of it. And then we had people over and talked in Latin for 1.something hours. Then I played guitar. Then I went over to the guy's house and studied Logic and chilled and ate sour gummy worms. Turned out alright.

Want to know Latin that could be awkward (will be, actually) in English? Here you go. Ita? Ita? Scisne? Fac me.
haaaaaaaaaaa i said that once.

So academic update. I'm pretty much dying. But I believe in miracles, just like the song. And its the same old song but with a different tune since you've been gone... tra la la. Week 7 down. Week 8 looms on the horizon, like pollution. Like pollution I'm supposed to breath in, live in, and somehow not get poisoned--but if I die, everyone will know why. I forgot to wear the gas mask. But the first problem is that I even put myself in such a bad situation. It's like, Yes, I would like to spend thousands of dollars to live in a polluted place! Yah, thats what I did. Anyway so finals are this week. Kill me now.
Oh wait, I AM dead, dead to you as can be! haha yah Eminem's on the mind since my Latin teacher told us that Latin poetry is not like English poetry. Latin Poetry is more like Eminem. Crazy. And he quotes (prolly the only verse he knows) "the FCC won't let me be" and the emphasized words is more like what the Latin's do. And since there... I be refreshing my memor-Y.

Break week! A full week of Break after finals. And I go to Seattle to chill.

ANd I got a soar throat. I better not get sick. So I had tea. Tea solves all my problems. Tea and Marley.

So I live my life (eh eh eh) and I be jammin. It's late. I should go to bed. Imma be imma be. Party all night, sleep all day, throw all of my problems away my life would be eeeeeeasyyyy

I miss the peace of mind I had before all this. But this is what I got to deal with. If life were poker I'd fold about now. But as I won't (I have pride), I'm just losing money, that's all. Ante up.

Nah really life's good. I love it. School just muddles the colours of my painting abit. Favourite class: History. Easiest class: Logic/Speeches. Favourite teachers: Schlect (history) and Stokes (he's a baller) (Logic/Speeches). Worst class any way you think about it: Latin. Unopinionated: Biology. That's the long and short of it.

More where this came from. But he hasn't given me all of them. Anthony and me, Biology class. It was hard to look like I was paying attention, some of these were fun-nay.


Mitch and Anthony and me in the background. Oh yes, I do pay attention, no I'm not falling asleep. What about vision would ever make me fall asleep, c'mon.


Karyn and I go to the fair and look at model houses. We are disappointed, contrary to our faces. What is this--a center for ants?! It needs to be... at least 3 times this big!


Maggie and I are about to go to Daniels wedding! Daniel Paul gone and got married. Him and Julie are perfect (yah, perfect) for eachother. I've never seen such a sweet wedding. I cried. Yes, I cried. I've never cried at a wedding before. This was just so beautiful. Can't really explain it more than that. Daniel's the first of the Logos class to get married! hah! So most of the Logos class went to his wedding in Wallowa Country (enterprise), Oregon for the day. The Moscow reception is Saturday, which I'm going to. Party party, hollah hollah. Flashing.... lights.
Maggije and I also have a tendency to look like fishes every so often. I can't help it, it's my zodiac. My face is determined by the planet's. I dont know her excuse.


Maggie and me and clouds. We have lots of picahs like dis. It's kind of a shared obsession. The sky, you know.


I don't really know why people take pictures of me when I contemplate things in foodlines. Like now.


Maggie. Her and her raybans. And her necklace. and Her laugh. Love it.




Don't mess with the best cuz the best will woop yo' ass!


We are all so happy to be on a road trip to the wedding.


On road trips we make our faces extra special.


Sometimes I make random decisions last minute-like to go make a retard of myself and go to a 90's party. Like in this picture, where I am wearing nothing 90's to fit in, so i just acted dumb (which I never did in the 90's) and wore my hair up high way and put a head band on, like I didn't do in the 90's. All the same, that's what I was at the 90's party. Only I was in control of the playlist. Perfect.
Stacey came too. This is a freshman (Hayley) who lives at the Menadiers (where I lived my Logos year), Stacey, and mua.
Mua. heh, sounds like a kiss. Nope, not the Latin kiss. I'll stop there.


Karyn and her sweater. Me and my face.


At the park there is sunshine and trees. I sometimes think about things at the park when its sunny and I am underneath trees. Hence.


Enjoying the last few days of sunshine at the park.

Dancing to the Beat of a Different Drum
or, Breathing Proof of Life After Death

So my brief (yet prolonged) state of metamorphases of pig human has ceased, more or less. Metaphorical oinking still happens every so often (coughing) but it gets less and less every day. Thank God Almighty I'm free at last, yo. Go ahead and envy me.
But I can't say my shakles are completely gone. The annoying thing is that once I was better (yes, I was better), people didn't believe me. I felt like Paul. I went through all this metaphysical troubles of being freed from my prison, and people didn't believe me. Either they were just way too happy, or they have a worse-than-Thomas log in their eye (not even seeing would make them believe), but either way I stood at their door and knocked and they came, looked through the peep hole, and ran away. I came knocking, and they did not answer. Oh well, I'll pop another cough drop and come calling next time, silver and gold have I none, but what I have I will give-- need a sugarless cough drop?

And so the beat goes on. Homework is out to kill me, NSA's own little mafia, but hey I hang out in allies and have friends in low places, and I will escape. Life is a bit altered, scheduling a bit more intense, and I have another wedding to go to on Saturday (hooray for holy matrimony) so my Friday and now Thursday will have to be more productive than they normally are. Pshaw. So people go dancing, I look at Latin slides. People climb roofs, I translate. People smoke, I read. It's how I roll, I dance to the beat of a different drum now. Make new friends, keep the old.

--Not many, but it's all the pictures I got new for you.--

Dont know if I already posted this. Me Becca Jen-- Baller Shock Collar.


Jen and me Picturesque.


Jen and me kickin it at Bucer's. Check out her face. Yah, tha's how we roll.

UPDATED.
Yar my pirate booty, I'm sick and have a headache and am freezing cold and yet also very warm so here are some picahs and then i be off to try to get warm.

I help make dinners.


I help eat dinners.


Rach and me. If she's not careful her face will stay that way.


Becca me and Mitch. About 8 of us went up the mountain when it was dark (and the moon was 98% full) and had Eagle Scout Tim build a fire. It was so cool! lova lova lova it. We had some UI girls come and they left before us so me Tucker and Mitch ran ahead of them and hid in the bushes on the side of the path. As the girls drove down me and Mitch sprung out and attacked their car.... omg omg omg that was AMAAAAZINGLY mean, we scared them silly. Then they kept driving and then Tucker does the same thing... throws himself on the car and rolls off... holy cow they screeeeeamed!! Awesome!! Yah we've been on a Zombie movie kick and had those girls come once so they were already scared; not that they are normally easy to scare or anything... Anyway, my life is kickin.


A new boyfriend or two:


Hallah hallah.


Me and part of Maggie. We climb rocks and jump off cliffs into water and live to take pictures after.


Becca Jen and me. Hardcore.


This is Jen. We are baller.

Breathing Deeply, Walking Backwards

Week 3 dawns. Life has been soooo good. Holy cow, I've had the most best days I've had in a long time. Chilling with friends, bbq's and fires, cliff jumping and roof falling. Who could ask for more? My new roomate is amazing too... the most naturally sweet girl ever. And not the annoying sweet. It's just delightful that's what. And life tatters on and I lurv it.

School is still difficult and Lord help me.

I'm going to Ian & Heather's wedding in a week! Woooooooooooooo

And I am drinking tea.

Picahs Daniel, here's some picas fo you. Sorry I dont got more/better ones, I have a severe lack of a camera, and a severe lack of people who give me their pictures.

What's dinner without a little studying on the side? Yes, we are drawing maps. It's part of this complete supper.


We went out to dinner. Rachel was right next to me but you can hardly see her. Tyler is a retard and leaned out. So did Brandon. Then Ashley, then Jen! Full circle of awesomeness yah.


This is at Grace's Bday. Grace is in the middle. She is older now. I have also gone to a birthday party this year.


My new roomate Deanna. She's the comprimise between Claire & I: Claire is Canadian, I am Dutch, Deanna is Canadian Dutch. This is her sleeping. Sometimes when we dont got time to sleep at night, we catch a few snores in the day. She sleeps with Augustine. I dont quite know what to think of that.


This is the traditional Sophomore/Freshmen Buck Buck game. It's a guy thing. You have a bottom layer of awkwardly close guys trying to be a sturdy foundation. Then other guys run real fast and jump on top of them, and they keep adding more kids on top until the bottom layer falls.


This is the school we go to. And this is Jill. She has no Jack.


Sometimes people just talk in the library. Emily and Jill do as well.


This is the back patio of the guys house (mitch anthony alec tim tucker)... they had a party there a week or so ago, in the middle is the portable fire pit that mitch got! Mmmmmarshmallows!


Oh Rachel. I spend sooo much time hanging out with her. We didn't really hang out or talk much last year, but then over the summer (she was in the retard latin summer classes with me) we hung out a lot, and now this year it's almost constant. So happy. And her little squeals of excitment and scrunches up her nose when she's really happy... so cute...


James and Jon at Bucer's. Bucer's is the coffee shop that I more or less frequent, and one that most NSA'ers live at. Soooo good. It is also good at taking away my money from me with a friendly face. Don't trust a h....er, coffee...


Here is kids in my class in a classroom. And the girl is Robin, with a flower in her hair. She has the cahraziest hair efah. We've had such freaking good times. It's always with her that I pull my super duper late nights... and it's with her that I pull all-nighters. The other week I stayed over at her house and slept outside in her hammock on her deck!! It was such an amazing experience... the last thing I saw was the stars, the first thing I saw was the sky. Anyway. This is a classroom, and kids in it.


Peace.

So Sophomore year has begun. It actually began last week, black robe and all. Yah, when we wear those "scholar robes" on Fridays, I feel like I should also have a hood and a candle, walk slowly and chant, "for the common good". But alas, I don't. Every Friday I wear that Harry Potter robe and sit and listen to a speaker. Alas.
That's about all the perks (hate that word) that my 2nd year of college gives me. Other than the fun-ness of watching the newbies, talking to them, and again watching with maybe some hanging out with the select ones. And then looking back and saying, "Yah that was hard, but it was just the beginning". Mhm, there is more. And I will live that.

In fact, I am on my 7th hour of almost straight Latin studying. 1 hr with a tutor, and then about 6 or 5.5 on my own or something radical like that. Will it pay off? It better. And oh yah, my classes start super early. Try... 7.30 today? and 8 o'clock other days? Yah, I tried that. Tried and so far succeeded, even if I have to pinch myself till I bleed on somedays to keep from sleeping in the chair at school.
Yes, I did do that. yesterday, in fact.

But also this year will be the funnest. We will party. School will be a party. After school will be a party. My mind will make everything a party. That way I like it all. And guess what! Parties go late at night too. Guess what?! So does school. So there. Q.E.D.

And guess what else.
It's only Wednesday tomorrow. And I live for the weekend, when the fun don't stop.
School is a bunch of theory and book learning.
But life still applies.
To every meta, there is a physical. Somewhere, somehow.
To every theory, there is practice.
Life still applies.

Yah that was random. But its late, and I'm super awake, and I have a ton to do before my eyes shut for a few (yes literally, a few) hours.

French. Je suis un croissant. I felt french today. Well, a Frenchman near the beach sort of French. No, not ON the beach. NEAR it. there is a difference. I wore a hat that like fell off my head. You know, that type. And even though I didn't wear blue & white stripes, I felt French. yes, yes I did.

Today I also talked to some weirdies in the park. They made me really happy. I like just going up to people and just talking and getting to know them. These were just some people in the park sitting the ground and picnic table playing the bongo thing and guitar and one was dreadlocking the others head and it was so great. New sort of circle. I enjoyed it. I will do it again. yes, yes i will.

Kids are getting back to Moscow. I am excited. I am going to have so much fun. I'm going to hang out with more of a wide variety of people this year. It will be so great. ALthough I went to Sam's goodbye party today, that was kinda sad, pushing him off to Spain you know. Maybe we will get a group to visit him and see Spain! I hope we can. yes, yes i do.

My teeth feel dirty. And I smell smokey. Cuz the Times they are a-changing... tra la la.

Am I excited for school to start? in a way, no way jose. Yes, I'm even speaking Spanish. Even though I feel French, I am speaking mexican. Yes, yes I am.
But, I in a way like this school so I will make it work. mmmhmm.

I am going to brush my teeth.

Bon au revoir! Jusqu'à la fois suivante, or however they spell/say it.

Things are going greatly. Latin isn't half as bad as I was expecting. It's me, 2 other girls in my class, and then some teachers/grad students wanting to be latin teachers.

Maybe it's because the contrast is so huge. I came here expecting to completely fail. I got here and (to my knowledge, tho not confirmed yet) did great on the first test, and am understanding things so much more this time around. It's amazing. The hardest thing about it is being here and having to pretend like I'm not. I can't hang out with anyone and I am invited to lots of things but I have to be lame and say no. I get lots of phone calls but no time to talk so I ignore them and feel really guilty. But in the end I hope everyone will understand.

So the final is on Friday.

and this squirrel says,



BRING IT ON.

I am off to the land of potatoes, the land of wheat fields, the land of no mountains. Yes, I'm off to Idaho again. The time has come that I go and try to finish up my term of failed latin. I've been studying and still I'm shakingly nervous and very not confidant. Straight off we take a test on Monday, and then the Final is on Friday. It is vitally important that I pass this. It will be a headache (to say the least. prolly more like a migraine) if this doesn't work.

Doomsday approaches.



Before latin crushes me (i'm sure you can put who is who in this picture), i bid thee adieu.

That box is probably not soft.

And the clock strucketh 2.

I depart unto myeth bedeth.

And to that blessed state of slumber, may it be-eth.

Amen.



mayeth this alsoeth be-eth unto-eth mea.

Beep-beep. Yes, I am that carrot. Beep-beep. That is the noise I make.

I'm on cruise control.

-Plugging your ears while delivering a baby is the same as plugging your ears while delivering a pizza, you have to use your elbows. And you can't hear anything. And you can't accept any tips-

Old Sweaters and Cold Feet

No, right now I am not reforming marriage. I am not even standing on the promises. I am unmotivated and cannot concentrate-- a new diagnosis of ADD. My mind is spinning like a rodent wheel but there is no hamster spinning it. Defect, waiting for the recall. But no, minds never get recalled. They either run out of batteries or get electricuted. Either way, mine is not working. Kind of like an old sweater. The kind you wear because sweaters are good to wear and you'd look odd not wearing one but it otherwise is quite useless. I wore one of those today... it was cold but it is a nice sweater. That is what my brain is. I have one, not because it works, but because I would look silly not carrying one around with me.

Socks, on the other hand, are fabulous. Not in a gay way. Tall socks pretty much rock the casbah. I am wearing some right now. Why? My feet are cold. They are covered with cloth now. The modern version of the fig leaf: to cover my shame.

Reforming Marriage has a picture of a couple asleep at a dinner table. I wish I were them. Or at least one of them, I dont think i'd like to be both. Sleep. Food. Both? Heaven. My crummy guitar is on the end of the couch-- heaven knows how much I wish I would make time to play that thing. I have found my pride issue-- it is so hard to lower myself to that thing. I want so bad to have my angel back. An angel among mortals. To hear its sound again, to behold its lovely form, to feel the smooth strings... oh, heaven. This indeed is true love. The kind that needs no Reformation, the kind that no sleep could keep you from.

I feel like the Muse has left me. This goes for Blog as well as Email as well as Papers. I sat down to write two abstracts last night, and what did I come up with? A story about a man who left his childhood in the parking lot, came back when he was a man and found it had turned into a turtle that couldnt jump (for turtles are not rabbits, he concluded). LAAAAME. I meant it gave me some entertainment, even tho I broke my aim to be sane this year. Yes, no more of those stories for as long as I can help it. Why? I dont know, mostly because no one really understands them. Maybe I will be a closet insane writer. Maybe. I wont tell.

Right now I am supposed to devote my brain to Latin. Am I? No, the latin Muse has never visited me ever, and she is remaining consistent. So I decided to read Lordship. Am I? No, I am not. What am I doing? Listening to the Idol (billy idol, you puritans, not a literal idol) and writing a blog post that has nice happy clouds on it. If one is to have clouds they may as well be happy.

I have once more been drinking tea and eating ramen. Life is back to where I left it, and this time it has not turned into a ground-ridden turtle (thank goodness). Pomegranate Tea... so good. With a mite of sugar in it. I only have a bag left. But have no fear, I am well stocked with both Black and Peppermint.

I cant wait for free time. I will knit, quilt, and READ and STUDY the things I feel like reading and studying, without any looming grade raincloud (an unfriendly cloud). Thats the most attractive thing about summer.

I have this siloette picture of the Abbey Road picture, and I think its not done well because Lennon looks like Ben Franklin.

Does anyone read these anymore because I feel that my quality has slackened cuz I dont think anyone really reads this. So tell me and maybe I'll shape up. Maybe.

If I were a weather man, I'd say:
The ice and snow is slowly melting. Quite a bit of it is melting (due to the sunshine and friendly clouds), but there is still a bunch of slippery ness I come across on my journey to school. And it is a bit warmer, although I still get very chilled with the wind and all.
But as I'm not, I wont.

Know what just came to mind? Lion Shooter Bill. haaaaaahahahahaha! The end of that memory.

When I have free time I"ll shape this blog up and make it a bit more fun. Like Kaleb/Rob's maybe. I'll spend more time. As it is now, I just blah around and count it good.

I hope your clouds are friendly.

Feet Below the Knees

Blogging is so yesterday. Well.. blogging when you have nothing to say. But, to people in China, I am in yesterday right now, so its all ok. After all yesterday, just like tomorrow, is only a day away.

I do not think I could survive a bear attack.
But I do have some plans for a Zombie attack. I hope that there are no zombie bears.

I just realized... literally just right now, that I am glad I dont have a peg leg. That would get so annoying. Well one thing about Come Together is 'he' is not a pirate.
Ok that was ridiculous because less than half of you know what I'm talking about. So nevermind, dont try.

If someone asked me, "Do your feet hurt?" Then I'd answer "Yes." If they asked me, "Does your back hurt?" Then I'd say, "Yes." If someone said, "Are you hungry?" Then I'd say, "No." If someone asked me if I had a reason for my neck to be soar, then I'd say, "not really but I have a speculation." If someone asked me if my teeth were clean, I'd say, "Yes. Quite." If someone asked me "Are you cold?" Then I'd say, "Yes." If someone asked me if I felt ready for school, I'd say "No." If someone asked me if I just put a sweater on I'd say, "Yes."

It's only 10.32 but I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink. I wonder should I get up, and fix myself a drink? No, no, no...

Life, Resumed.

I am tired of Ramen, after a steady diet of it for 5 months. So I decided I'd try Macaroni. Kraft Macaroni doesn't do it for me anymore. I cant eat much of it. less than a half a box. While Katy, on the other hand, can prolly eat 2 boxes and a pizza and still maintain her 80lb existance. It had to be her that inherited mom's jeans...

So as I sit frusterated that I dont know how to work our TV, I decide that the medium makes the matter of the thing itself more or less pleasant. Eating food straight out of the pan that you cooked it in, for example, makes it a whole lot less appitizing. Same as it is with TV's. Sometimes I just dont want to watch something on my laptop, so if the TV dont work, then thats the end of that. God's will. Today is just one of those days.

And so I put away my macaroni and eat a candy cane. Calms me. I already had Hot Chocolate, which failed to warm me up but succeeded in being my first cup of hot chocolate for a very very very long time.

All this to say, I am going home tomorrow.
Hallelujah cried the angels and all the people rejoiced.

-- Nobel Peace Prize Awarded to a Killer Whale --
or, How My Life was Nearly Ruined by an Un-Jewish Hippy.

In which I went to Stacey's for dinner and stuffed myself to an ungodly amount of stuffage, causing a party in my mouth but a funeral in my stomach. The party got overcrowded and I was like "blahhhh" the rest of the time. And then I ate a cookie or two. My motto was "eat, drink, for tomorrow we die."

In which Andy burned my gloves... (that was actually kind of funny. the fingers were smoking and everything. he felt bad. poor guy.)... but then he bought me 2 pairs for Christmas! Snow and Knit. The snow ones are warmer than the ones he burnt actually... so now I decided he can burn anything he wants. Just dont burn me. Because it doesn't work that way. heh.

In which I can't wait to come home now and I am really really tired of school.

In which I have heard Stephan Curtis Chapman, Amy Grant and Keith Green all in the same day and am like "gee I feel like an eight year old again." It was crazy.

In which I went ice skating, and was bad and waddled like a penguin.

In which I like people and am happy.

In which I have to leave in four minutes so nevermind.
bye.

This is me studying.
This is me with a final tomorrow.
This is me across from Lauryl.
This is me freaking out.
This is me unprepared.
This is me feeling burnt like a peice of toast.
This is me being ready for finals to be over.

This is a home where I sleep.
This is a school that stretches my mind like chewed bubble gum.
These are roomates that crack me up laughing.

This is a winter that hasn't snowed.
This is studying time.
This me studying.
This is me saying 'no' to socialness for a week.

This is a party without the people.

---

Mr. Appel said that studying is like a wedding cake.
But its one that we work at, we pay for, look at, but can't eat.
At least not til the anniversary. Hopefully there's lots of preservatives.
---

It's nice to procrastinate, justifying it by saying "i'm telling people i'm studying". Because I will. Once i stop telling you that I will. It's how I roll. This is the way I live. Like a rap song, only a bit more biblical.
---

I am coming home after finals. I am trying my very hardest not to count down. I have to shut my eyes to the light at the end of the tunnel, because if I dare open them I know I will start sprinting to it, when I need to walk and write stuff on the walls. Graffiti. How scholarly.
---

I think my mind has gotten much too abstract. Finding applications and ties into things that really dont make sense to other people. But they are so clear to me. My lot in life, to not be understood. Like Emo kids always say.
---


I leave you as I found you, only some time later.

So happy. So very happy.

Look Ma! No hands!
3, 2, 1, I'm going in. Like a Kamikaze. Leap of faith. Only a bit more biblical.
Continued.

It's 8.18. what a nice time to live in. And I just had a bowl of Frosted Flakes. What a nice thing to eat. Today is my sister's birthday. What a nice day to be born on. I am drinking tea. What a nice thing to drink.

Guy Fawkes. Remember the 5th of November. V for Vendetta. Is that what you think of what they want you to think? Socialism come upon America, keep your wits about you and your George Orwell prophesies handy. Like DC Talk sang, sometimes we gotta learn the hard way. World without an end.

Scatterbrained thoughts, maybe because I really should be writing and reading. When you do what is cool but at an uncool time, the thing suddenly turns to be an uncool thing. Funny how time changes things.
Things.
And People.
Like Seasons.
You can do it all by yo' self... slow motion. Like leaves falling from a tree.
Like a kid swinging on a swing set.
We have our independance, but it is only gained eventually by experience. Sometimes you have to let go to truly be safe.
Look ma, no hands.

Make sense of what you can, i cant help you right now. Office hours wont come til the weekend.
Peace.