who if not we.

i dont wanna leave that to be my recentest post because all this "here's to" stuff is kinda final sounding and it makes me sad. i've had a lot of goodbyes lately and I really didnt want to add to them.
In fact I'm not even going to talk about today or whatever.

Instead. I am going to write my bucket list.

1)Go to Holland.
2)Tour Europe. Including but not limited to Ireland Scotland Italy.
3)Skydive.
4)A long roadtrip with Friends. With lots of stops.
5)I want to blow smoke rings.
6)Play good acoustic guitar.
7)I wanna surf again.
8)go very fast in a car. very fast.
9)have my name and someone else's carved in a tree. you know, classic like.
10)Finish my quilt.
11)Own a gold fish with big eyes, like Rach/Jen's.

Well thats the first bucket list I've ever written in my whole entire life. I suppose it needs more work. Well it was off the top of my head anyway.
I also would like to find my old seatbelt guitar strap. It's been lost.
And right now, I wanna sleep.

Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears (i) knew (i'd) cry
Here's to goodbye--tomorrow's gonna come too soon
I want to stay, not to go.
Can't I stay an hour or two or more?
(eve 6, "here's to tonight")

Here's to my kids who went through with me. high five Trotter--here's to smoke, flames and friends and laughter.
here's to the adventures.
here's to the cars slipping down hills and across snow.
here's to jen, rachel, b-pain, trotstar, knight, noland, antkowiak, simon, halverdamn, libby, halverson, jessie, mitch and james.
here's to the kids that made idaho... idaho.

cuz there is no tomorrow, just some picture perfect day to last a whole lifetime
and it never ends cuz all we have to do is hit rewind
so lets just stay in the moment, smoke some (weed), drink some wine,
reminisce, talk some shit forever young is in your mind
leave a mark that can never erase me neither space nor time
so when the director yells cut, I’ll be fine, I’m forever young…

Fear not when, fear not why, fear not much while were alive,
life is for living not living up tight,
see ya somewhere up in the sky.
(jay-z)

yeah, we live on. we be jammin.
here's to mitch. here's to anthony.
here's to alec and staab.
here's to robin.
here's to jen & rach.
here's to knit muffin and trottstar.
you guys made this last week all i could wish for.

there is no way i can say goodbye.
don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
dr. seuss.

added to my list of happiness.

the white stripes. oh yeah.

how about i update you on all my obsessions.

i will. only it's only really going to make me happy. haha. maybe i'll post something more interesting later. meebee.

as i'm watching a street car named desire...
vivian leigh who acts blanch dubois. she talks in this airy voice and talks all the time. fast, and unstopping. constantly. and she laughs and brushes everything serious off her shoulder and laughs it off.
somehow, i think we're supposed to be sorry for her.
but i just want to rip her head off.
i'm only watching it because marlon brando is in it.

i dont think i've ever appreciated silence so much as i do now that i can't hear her voice anymore.

not that you guys care hah well its late and i cant sleep so i guess thats what. and now! you have the thought update!

10 things i'm obsessed with right now

1) rugby.
i'm looking up teams and scores and history and all that and i'm dying to watch a game but dont know where to look. meh.

2) marlon brando.
watching A Street Car Named Desire right now actually. i am adding him to my favourites now. speaking of-- vivian leigh annoys me so much more in this movie than she did in gone with the wind. mm anyway, marlon brando mm.

3) jim morrison
yes please.

4) pete townshend
yes please. i've been listening to alot of the doors and the who and they are also added to my list of favourites. love it.

5) james dean
well when is he not on my obsession.

6) steve mcqueen
i forgot how awesome he is.

7) teapots
i got a new teapot today from Rachel & Jen. it is white. it is an elephant! it is just what i wanted. today i used the teapot katy got me...where you put this flower bud in it and it'll bloom. cool concept. so i tried it out and it unfolded in the teapot and got huge and it scared me. it looked like a spider. or something. but it tasted very light. like... you were tasting a scent. thats the only way i've been able to describe it. but it is still super cool.