1) started a new book. i know nothing about it except its fictional and the kid's grandmum just died. so far, so good. also i try not to read summaries of books ever that are longer than 2 sentences. other than that i feel like it's spoiling it.

2) i just watched grease. again.

3) i started watching dr. who. i, like, it.

4) i ran on the field in the rain today. my throat got cold before my legs, and my feet got wet before my head.

5) i voted for the first time this year. i don't know why. i didn't like it it was not great. oh well i voted outside the 2 party system so it's almost like i didn't vote anyway. better?

6) i'm not a fan of ice cream unless its espresso mocha.

7) i will be 32 when NL possibly hosts the world cup. i will be a few years younger if the US wins the bid for the 2018 world cup. i can't believe it i'm too younge to make plans for 32

8) i decided that i will go to some Portland Timbers games next year and to become a fan.

9) i like my work and for the first time i'm kind of nervous to learn everything they are teaching me but its awesome anyway.

10) i hate saying 'awesome'. or 'grand'.

11) "hello, do you like my hat?"
      "no, i do not."
      "good-bye."
      "good-bye."

12) i also like 80's music probably too much

13) i've had this beer bottle by my bedside with my excedrin right next to it for the past month. all i need now is a goodbye letter. if you know what i mean.
(AND I WAS KIDDING)

14) i killed a big ass spider last night. i had waited all day to kill that thing but it kept staying in the corner and i can't get a shoe to sufficiently squish a spider in the corner. it deserved to die more than all the other spiders because it was bigger than the others. (somehow, the bigger you are, the more you deserve to die? please don't repeat that, mostly because i am not exactly tiny) But I came down stairs, and BOOM there it was. and i did not hesitate, i ran to my closet, pulled out my skate shoe (i squish big spiders with my skate shoes. daddy long-legs and those type of spiders i squish with flip-flops normally. really really fast mother fuckers i throw something at, tense all my muscles, scream, and if i can drown them in windex and comet powder i do. there is a different solution to every spider problem. Liz [friend at work] gave me a cup and paper towel so i can put them outside. obviously that doesn't fit in my plans and i never use it i don't want to hear it running around in there, i don't want it to chew through the cup or paper towel, i don't want it to live after it crossed the boarder into my house.)....pulled out my skate shoe and BAM! i squished that spider so fast, (without screaming or war-crys).

His remains still await my mother to clean. i haven't got the desire to do that yet. sorry. this is probably the first she hears of it, if she reads this.

15) i only started this blog for family back home when i was in idaho. now i'm back in oregon and i am lost as to what to post here now. i think i might just be done with it. or something.

"hello again. and now do you like my hat?"
"i do. what a hat! i like it! i like that party hat!"
"goodbye"
"goodbye!"

I am a busy bee. And right now I am a tired bee.
I am part time at my Fire job and every minute is busy.
I am 2 days/wk at the gas station in addition.

I go to the field where I used to play soccer and I am not overwhelmed but something of that same feeling by the ghost of a younger me. Strange? yes. I can almost see myself there...I almost get that same feeling. I wanted to feel the same way I used to...exhausted after practice but so refreshed and strong. It's a great feeling. That's where I go to run now. I wonder how good I really was, how fast I really was, how strong I really was I just didn't know it. I wish I could watch my younger self play. Everytime I go there I get that feeling. The smell of the grass. Looking out at the field from the goalie box. From mid field. Jumping to try to touch the top of the goal. Throwing my water bottle down as I rush on the field to sub. My heart going in my throat in anticipation and excitement when the ball was coming to me and I knew I could boot it hard. Being exhausted but then finding the unknown energy to get to that ball before the other team. Walking off the field after a game with my legs burning & knocking the grass off my cleats. Stuff I really had forgotten about that just came up and shook my hand a couple days ago. Everything was the same except (good part) there isn't goose poop everywhere anymore. God there used to be a ton of goose poop.
But man I miss all that. I want it back again. Except for the geese.
Also side note: I could never play indoor soccer. I never could bring myself to it. I don't like it. I can't imagine playing it and getting rugburns instead of mud. No way Jose.

Ummmmm I am going crazy. HELLO WORLD DONT YOU WANT TO KNOW ALL THIS? how about I give you my life story while I'm at it. Mostly I just wanted to write that down for myself. You guys can watch from the sidelines.

Nope. Actually that was an indian offer. There's no way I'm telling the world my life story. HA.

So the update is that I am busy yet simple and that's how I like it.