was the most stressful week I've had that I can think of, having to give two seperate thesis' in the same week, seperated by 2 days. It freaked me out, but I got through it. I dont know my grade from them yet, but I am satisfied that I got through, which is more than I expected. In fact the day before my second and most important thesis, I sent my mom an email that consisted of these few alarming but sincerely felt sentances:
She didn't think that was funny. I was really really stressed out man. I gave myself a big headache and a stomach ache. It doesn't help that I have huge expectations put on me. Not only do I have the normal stress about giving it, but everyone says "You'll do fine. You always have. You can do it no problem. It's no problem for you, you do great." Yes I might HAVE done great, but what guarantee is there that I'd do great again? And it always has been a problem! Just because I've done great doesn't mean that it's easy! It's not easy! So there! Anyway, so that was stressful as well, just having their ... almost not understanding. They didn't believe that my fears were.... well founded. Anyway. But I got through it, and my class mates were very good to me to believe in me like that. :D
Also, my parents sent me wonderful flowers... my favourite flowers... TULIPS! red tulips. The whole school found otu about those, they thought it pretty sweet, but unusual. I love them and they are still on my dresser. I would take a picture if I had a camera, but as it is, I don't.
I'll post more pictures when I get them.
So I have basically been bumming around. Hanging out, spending money (I need to stop that though. no more money spending till I get a job).... reading. I finally finished a book that Geoff lent me ... oh dear, on Christmas Break. Now I'm on the next one. Wahoo!
Time is winding down. Finals are coming up so that's kind of scary, but actually exciting. My family is coming up in 12 days... on the 24th anyway. So that's cool. Then I head to the Oregon coast with my class for 5 days! So I come home in 18 days. That is the countdown. I am counting down daily, as some people know... hehe...
Spontaneous Combustion.
That just poped into my head. I like that phrase.
I look around and find that I still haven't put up my Beatles posters. They are still rolled up like they came because I havne't gotten around to buying that sticky stuff. So I will keep them down and then put them up when I get home. When I get a house I want a music room, where I will have all my guitars and a drumset and bass and all that stuff, and lots of posters on the walls. Mmmm yes that will rock. Then I want a work out room with weights and tredmill and all that stuff and a punching bag. Yes sir.
House plans.... oh man I am getting ahead of myself. How appauling. I disgust myself.
I leave you as I found you, only some time later.
-Ashley
(pleasant dreams)
5 comments:
Well I hope you don't take encouragement as not understanding! I am fully aware that was a enormously hard thing you were up against, but having said that, we knew you'd get through it. And that you did, we're proud of you just the same and we're glad you liked the flower delivery--we wanted you to get the message asap, and in a public way :-) We're excited to have you home soon. Take care.
Love Mom
PS I remember that picture! How old were you, 12? or 13 maybe? ha ha.
Yah that picture holds great memories. I remember that day, when Emily was painting. I had poofy hair we all knew, so I put it up in that Cave-Man way (from her Transworld skateboarding magazine), and I growled. Emily was like "Ork!" and I was then the Uruk-Hai. Then She was Sauruman, and dipped her hand in paint and Vuala! I loved it, it was so fun. You weren't so pleased though. haha, but time overcomes this and now you too laugh. Funny how childhood is only laughed at when its gone. Good times... :) E and I had good times...
I only remember the picture, not the details of it, I thought it was Noxema or something that's all.
BTW, not true, "childhood is only laughed at when it's gone" we laughed at many things--too many times we're all forgetful of the good when we focus on the not-so-good. But lets stop here and enjoy today. xxxooo Mom
Well I think I am partly right and you are partly right in different aspects. but yah. anyway.
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