So I have been sick. We had 2 snow days (thursday and Friday), then the weekend, then i got sick on Sunday, didn't go to school on Monday and Tuesday, went on Wednesday, felt nascious and woozy and all, stayed home from school today and we'll see about tomorrow. This is not a convienient time to be sick because we are writing another thesis... save me from this present evil.
So this week has been pretty humdrum and I have been feeling the same. Nothing much else to report. It's been snowing again... we have alot of snow and I actually like it like that... except that you have to dig out of 2+ feet of snow to open the gate to get out, which numbs your hands for an hour or so.
Power to the people.
Ashley
"is that what you think or what they want you to think?"
23 comments:
You get better soon, ya hear! *huggles*
You said it yourself that it was a boring post! I was agreeing with you by not commenting.
And it's not even an emo picture! It's just you with eyeliner. I think it looks fine, it's just dumb that josh had to get all upset because we were picking on emo. What a tard.
So anyways. I still think you should get your hair cut short. Chin length you can still put in a ponytail. Try it try it, you will see.
I like snow, but I can't say that this sunniness here is bad. I've been out walking with Guy a few times and in a few months I can see the pool being usable again. YIPEE!
I agree with geoffrey...and his *huggles* haha!
Oh yeah. As for the new pictures Ashlye. lol. I think I have seen everyone but the one of you and meh whittle buddy in Mrs. Marstons room it looks like. ^.^ All very cool none the less. I really like one of the ones when you are on the cell.
I love the new look! And pics of course. lol
I should update my stuff to. I really need one. Actually I got some stuff to put on that will make you loff!
lol
What did you use to take those pictures?
haha hilarious!
kt
give peace a chacne
im sorry josh but you shouldnt be one to talk...emos are just normal people true. but they are screwed up in my opinion. their whole world is about depression. you dont want to get started down that path. you can think as deep as you want but that doesnt change the fact of how you present yourself in the world. you dress tells alot about yourself. so pretty much ashley, wear what you want but some friendly advice, dont get started down the path of no return. its just a sinkpit. do what you want but take advice, from people who know.
Yes, agreed, thank you for your input, anonymous, whoever you are!
Remember Ashley, "...pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." II Tim. 2:22
I love you and Happy Valentines Day, Mom [the package we sent will probably be there Friday, sorry!]
Hey Ashley and friends - I didn't like my comments so I deleted them and tried again. Sooooo - now you want to know what I wrote before, huh! :-)
Firstly, I'm glad you're feeling better now Ashley and good luck on that thesis! And to set records straight, I liked the picture with eyeliner. It's a sweet pic. Maybe we all disagree on what the term emo means or maybe we don't... so perhaps instead of "snap out of it" I will just say... ummm... please don't give up on life and love and all that good stuff because I want you to enjoy that.
Here is what I found in the Bible to respond:
Philipians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Ephesians 4:15
...but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ...
Proverbs 19:1
Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity Than he who is perverse in speech and is a fool.
Proverbs 19:3
By his foolish behaviour a man's ways are turned upside down, and his heart is bitter against the Lord.
1 Thessalonians 5:22
Avoid every kind of evil.
another translation
Abstain from all appearance of evil.
So, I am as much held to this standard as all the rest of you. I stink at it. But I'm working on it.
We can be a powerful good influence on the world... or we can drag each other down. I want to try for the former. Love ya Ashley!
Philipians 4:13
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
why did you erase those comments above. what did they say..
ROFL!! Uhm I was exspecting this at some point. And yes Emos are screwed up. Specially ones with SMS (Self Mutilation Syndrome) and all that. never understood it. As for how I present myself to the world...I wear black?? Thats about it. lol. And a wallet chain every other day. Well today I wore regfular jeans a preppy blue polo and all meh prep clothes ^.^ (felt preppy again) Anyways. It all really comes down to being shallow enough to judge superficially or getting to know someone before you talk about them. Sure alot of kids wear black and ppl say ooo Gothic! or Emo or what have you. But just about everyone who has met me will tell you I dont fit the mold. I even talked to the pastor of Christ Church. ^.^ I just really like the color black. It started years and years back. When I was a wee lil babe. Sure I am depressed but I ahve VERY VERY good reasons. -.- If you really want to know I dont have a problem saying cause Im used to telling the stories millions of times. Through pastors, shrinks, friends, etc.
And depression...you make it sound like a choice whoever said something earlier. REAL deprsesion is not a choice. No one should ever want it. It destroys you and everyone else around you. Turns you into a Zombie practically going through life not caring about anything much. Depression is in fact an opression, a loss of hope. -.- The point where you are tired of trying. "Hope is the begining of disapointment"
Rachel person. Throwing random verses out there is kind of dumb sorry. But it is. You can say anything you want by proof texting. I mean seriously. How Nihilism cam about. Honestly. And I would say some of those verses are directed torwards me as well. lol. Ashley told me to go check her blog because there were new comments for me to refute/reply to. ^.^ But yes...before you make asumptions like those verses imply often...get all your facts right.
lol. Many of those verses could actuelly be turned against you guys in ways to be honest. Or they might not apply or they are so unspecific they are always true in a way. I find it best in times like these to NOT throw every bible verse out there in a desperate reach to justify yourself. You really can take the bible and justify about everything. It was written by men and thus has very many flaws. I too throw verses out there to Ashley often lol in her depression rants about Theology. (meh favorite topic ever!!) and it will stop her and she will go think awhile. At least say something meanignful and then have a verse to abck it up. Please?
"God is perfect. Religion is corupt"
PS!!!!!: ROFL. Uhm Mrs. Hoogendam the offer is still out there. YOu can emial me or call me. lol. Number from Ash email is SearchingForForgivness@Gmail.com
there you have it. *hugs Ashley*
off I go now
hmmm...wel josh that makes some sense but not much...so yeah...and to a certain extent depression is a choice. when you have the opprotunity to get out of it and even to have a chance of escaping it(wich you have at all times) and when you are being given a multitude of helping hands, there is no reason for you not to reach out and take some help.
Hey you good lookin' lady! I had no clue that this blog existed until today. I'm reading like mad to catch up on your life. Sorry for being a jerk and not responding to your last email. Anyway I'm late for work now but I wanted to throw a hello out there. Will email/call/post/somethinginregardstocontactingyou again soon!
withlove - melissa
Wow Ashley! What a site...after just reading a few of these blogs...it is all really disturbing. I am sorry that you are feeling so depressed and down and everyone who is posting is posting out of love for you. I don't understand where all of "My Screams of Agony's" hostility comes from and his severe criticism on Christianity. Yes, God is perfect and people are corrupt, but that does not give us a license to blurb out whatever crosses are minds and wear whatever please us. This world is not about pleasing ourselves...it is about living for Christ as best as our wretched selves can. You know that Rachel and these anonymous posters care for and love you. Yes depression is a hard thing to overcome, but if you let it take over your life, you are not allowing Christ to be your center...you are allowing the evil one win his race in bringing you down. Yes the evil one is winning now, but we know who will win in the end. We need to look ahead and live accordingly. I can imagine we all have at sometime or always will struggle with depression, but it is how you choose to let it lead you. Follow what is true and right and good...you know what that is. Read God's word. When you read his word daily you will find strength and ability to surpass all that is bad. Grab Rachel's verses read them, let them penetrate your soul and allow them to lead you. I am not trying to be critical of you dear one, but this site, although I believe it reflects you deep inner-self, it is like you are just feeding the problem...all black...weird graphic images. Ashley I love you, and I do hope I am not coming across harsh...you just need to be very cautious and discerning with whom you trust very personal personal information with...because next thing you know they are plastering it all over for everyone to see. You are beautiful, smile or no smile, eyeliner or no eyeliner...the picture I can understand Rachel and Em's comments...it is weird picture...beautiful, but weird...wallowing. Let the good fill you up, surround yourself with goodness. If a blind man leads a blind man, they will both end up in the pit. I love you! I love you! I will call you this weekend.
Love, Aunt Jacqueline
To:(my screams of agony) For someone who wants acceptance for who you are (and preaches that to us), you are spouting a lot of judgement. You might be listened to better if you cut out the name calling and belittling of others and showed a little acceptance/love yourself.
Yes I understand what you mean about cooling it but thats one of my problems I ahve always struggled with..I get very very defensive. For that I truly am sorry. What I said though was meant. Wether or not it was as respectful as it should have been.
For the Anonymous who said "makes sense but not much". You dont necasarily ahve a chance to get out of it all the time. Clinical deprssion is not that easy. I mean sure you can throw Zoloft or some other anti depressant out there but that is a quick fix. As for the multitude of helping hands...I have never seen one. In my experience they smile, telling me it will get better but as that happens they twist the knife in my stomach. I am waiting for a decent enough hand to reach out for. Ashley has helped alot but she isnt really in a posistion to do much either.
To Aunt Jacqueline: My hostility and harsh views of xianity. Hostility is me being protective and defensive. Plus just not liking E or J. Harsh views of xianity. Quite obvious really. They dont know where to quit or how to help most of the time. I mean throwing all your random verses out there arent helping at all. It jsut annoys Ashley. O.o It really does. I could throw out ancient Japonese proverbs too and do just as much as good as yours. She needs real tangible help. Not a God who sits up there listening to you mutter your troubles. And you guys say "assume control! do something with your life" when you guys to a building on sunday reading an old book with some moral lessons and then go whisper your troubles to the skies....thats not very proactive. Go out and do something your self. I get most all my morals from the bible myself. I was raised a xian for 16yrs. Which I am 16. Still being raised as a xian by my mum but Im not one. Havent been one for a good 4 yrs at least. I can tell you I genuinly believed for awhile but now...I just dont see a point in a lot of the things you guys do. Very cultish. Specially the new "hip" churches. "Pop xianity". I dont see depression as something from Satan jsut as I dont see Joy from God. I think its lifes actuel events that make you that way. You dont get in a car accident and say "Gah!! Satan again." It was either your driving the other persons driving etc. I personally right now am borderline agnostic to deist. Im not sure I could ever go back without being incredibly fake about it.
Im living my life as if I will be judged in the end. Not by you not by my parents not by Mr. Garfield etc but by God. I think he wont care that I wear black jeans studded belts and a skate jackets. I personally believe he isnt that Shallow. He will talk and judge you. Everything I said I will be accountable for. Sure. I dont mind becasue everything I said was for a reason and a decent enough purpose. MAybe not the way you guys see it but you dont have the 360 degree view.
lol. btw the blinf man leading another blind man thing. We arent really trying to go anywhere. We are jsut sitting here waiting. Because we know we arent going to get very far or we might jsut fall into that hole. Seriously. Once again. Im not leading her into darkness people. Im trying to find a match to start that fire.
uhm...some sense but a lot of nonsense....if your not trying to go somewhere you arnt doing anything with your life. and sitting there waiting for it to start isnt helpfull at all...try taking that to hunting...sit in your bed and wait for a deer to walk through your house...oh yeah thats really gonna work
When Im talking about going somewhere with my life in this here group I am talking spiritually. Just to clear that up. Ashley isnt that involved in my life otherwise. Sometimes she is sometimes she isnt. Dont see her in person much anymore. But yeah. I was more speaking spiritually blind. etc.
When it comes to actuel life I am very not blind. I can see all too well when it comes to taht. And most of my depression stems from Spiritual stuff too. The physical bruises heal...the holes in my soul apprently dont.
lol. Actuelly where I live sitting there waiting for a dear to come is how you do it. lol. And yeah. Shot them off our porch once. (meh dad did) anyways. lol. As for in your house...no ones that stupid. Even in your figurative speaking manner.
no josh i am not anonymous.... this is me.... i didnt write that stuff
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